It's like

when people agree with you three times, you know they really mean it

and their feet spin against the wood, turning away from you, into their own worlds, but you sit between the two momentarily, into theirs, listening

and you wish to be a part of something bigger

instead of this, stirring, simmering

and people tell stories about the dramatic and abject, fucking and not remembering

which you don't hold a place with, yet you try to place your own self, into their world

and you make the same journey, twice, three times, to catch each of their faces, to see if they see you

and when they don't, it confirms a sense of shadiness in your character

you need to stop thinking like this, you need to be able to drink water fast and not feel like drowning

and remember when people would fall on their feet to explain themselves

saying no, no, no, no!

this is something you can have again, just loosen the grip on your jaw

start doing, just start doing and don't sit unevenly against the edge of your chair, waiting for something to smash through your current preconceptions because

darling

this is it.